Innan Jag Dör Vill Jag Se Dig I Latexoverall

I'm sorry to say, but I have to admit, I am one of those guys who go out of my way to not play as female characters whenever I have the option not to.

I prefer to play male characters. I just do. For some reason I am really adamant about that.

However... this is an old mindset which I have found is slowly changing within me.

But... alright... for this commentary, let me first go back and set the stage before we go into the subject proper.

I am currently a 34 year old man who grew up with video games. I went from playing the first NES-carts and getting my first Game Boy (phat, ofc) for my ninth birthday to streaming online via the PS4 and upgrading my PC to be able to handle the newest games as late as this past christmas.

Growing up as a part of the first generation wherein videogames started to get really good and even more importantly, quality certified, me and my friends followed the legends of our time; Mario, Link, Megaman, etc.

Cool characters we could identify with, characters that told us we could be more than what we were.

Cool characters, for sure.

Also... all male characters.

Yes, we were brought up on the misconception that only men could be interesting in the shape of a hero.

If someone had seriously proposed a playable female character back then, I know the reaction would have been laden with smirks and sniggering. Who would ever want to play as a girl? It was unthinkable at the time, especially for the closed minds of impressionable young boys who had already been taught to be better than girls in every way by a society that clinged to outdated values.

No, this era was all-male dominated. There were the Super Mario BROTHERS, the four ALL MALE ninja Turtles... you had your Solid Snakes and your Simon Belmonts, your Duke Nukems and your Sonic the Hedgehogs. The pattern was obvious, but somehow, we never realized it.

Women, if they were ever in the games, were mostly represented by pixelated cock-teases of varying degree who always had to be rescued.

The only exception in those days was the game Metroid, where most young gamers back then were shocked (and in some cases, genuinely horrified) to discover, after having beaten the game, that the hero was indeed a woman when she removed her helmet. I know for a fact that some people got really upset about this. It actually seemed to lessen the value of the game as a whole in their eyes.

That was the level of our collective chauvinism back then.

Since then, I have, of course, had my mind opened somewhat and realized that my personal preference could do with a bit of an overhaul. It isn't always about being the macho man of the 90s where you blast everything to bits anymore. As a matter of fact, that whole genre isn't even as attractive to me anymore as it was when I first looked up in awe as a kid at the flashing 16-bit graphics of the arcade machines and saw Rambo-like heroes running and gunning to the side.

Still, even so, I have always (and still do) on an instinctual level stayed away from chosing the female elf in any D&D arcade game or likewise never ever played as a female Shepard in the epic trilogy of more modern games known as Mass Effect. Why?

Even I find this to be curiously fascinating. It works almost as a conditioned response. I see any character select screen and I always look for the white male, I see customization options and I immediately go for the white male preferences. I have to underline, this is not due to any inherent disgust with women by any means, it is simply a behavioral pattern that seems to be repeating again and again.

I also find this somewhat annoying, as I do realize it is not an optimal attitude for discovering new fantastic adventures to lose myself in.

Though, partly in my defense, I have to say that I have begun to realize that it could also be down to the fact that I am a hardcore roleplayer at heart and I definitely prefer to be able to relate as best as I can with the character I have chosen to represent myself with. And white male characters simply go the longest in achieving that as I happen to be just that; a white male person. So, in regards to realism, I suppose there is sort of an excuse. But it doesn't really make up for my stubborn aversion to playing as a female character in other games.

However, games like Horizon Zero Dawn have slowly but surely started to change all that.

Being a gamer who is apologetic about my gender-pickyness but nevertheless always chooses to play as the white male, I have to admit that some games with female protagonists such as Horizon Zero Dawn have started to affect even people like me, who are dead set in their ways.

Despite having a female character as a lead, Horizon Zero Dawn; just by being so good, completely takes my focus away from the fact that the main character has boobs and a vagina and instead has me completely engrossed in its story, as it should be.

This is so cool because I can feel the susceptibility slowly opening me up to these new venues first-hand. Its like my mind is freed from the burdens of my old-school upbringing and whole new worlds are made available to me.

The first game to ever have done that to me was Perfect Dark for the N64.

I remember being somewhat shocked at myself as I realized that I was playing a game as a woman for the first time and really enjoying it. Games like Tomb Raider had never appealed to me, with its subjectively uninteresting story and focus on a polygon ass, but Perfect Dark, for some reason, just nailed it and made me disregard that aspect of it entirely.

No, it may be a slow process in my case, but I believe I am finally in the process of shedding my old chauvinistic snake-skin and joining the community of gender-diverse heroes.

And this isn't some form of self-gratification like what most guys do when they create a new alt in World of Warcraft simply for the sake of looking at her naked; no, games like Horizon Zero Dawn or Perfect Dark successfully propose that I should completely de-sexualize the characters and use them as my own avatar.

This mindset has begun to challenge me and also allowing me to be more open toward new ideas and possibilities. I still retain the preference for playing a white male character whenever I am presented with the option, however, I no longer have the immature disdain for playing as a female character as I had when I was a kid.

I just hope that my contemporary friends from the past have made more or less the same journey.

Some of them really need it.

Make your incredibly short life matter. What you do right now is important, probably moreso than you think.

Your choices affect everyone around you so make sure that you treat them right. No, you will not "be" with any of your departed loved ones after death. You will, in fact, never see them again.

And here is why.

WHY THE SOUL DOES NOT EXIST

Through various means of research, I have reached the conclusion that we almost certainly do not have anything as esoteric as a soul.

First of all, there are of course no scientific grounds that support the existence of the immortal soul. We can not see it, we can not touch it. Furthermore, science teaches us that sentience is achieved by that electro- chemical machine inside your skull called a "brain" and it is sustained by chemical reactions and neurons firing within the lobes, making you think, live and breathe. When that machine fails, what you perceive as "you" will ultimately cease to exist.

Secondly, there is the psychological needs and benefits to consider. The belief in a soul is banking a lot on something that is most likely conjured up through human imagination and abstract thinking as a defense mechanism which works to allow us to cope with our very real losses.

Do not misunderstand, if anything, the concept of an afterlife is a true testament to human creativity and imagination and it is a beautiful idea; one that I am in no way attempting to belittle as its beauty or established cultural importance as fictional art cannot be denied. Also, the belief of being reunited with someone after death, coupled with the natural short-sightedness in regards to our own mortality, keeps us going and makes for a more or less comfortable ride.

But as to the realism of the concept itself, I tend to view it the same way as I do any subjective historical forgery; just because you WANT it to be authentic doesn't make it so.

When enough people believe strongly in something, religion comes in to play. For some, this belief of life after life perpetuates a search for meaning. If we WILL be reunited after death, then there has to be some greater purpose behind existence and we nod knowingly in accordance to the belief that we will be taken care of when we go. But taken care of by whom?

That in turn gives rise to creator-myths, the human ability for abstract thinking tells us that there has to be something or someone who created all, who created you and has put you in your station. There has to be a purpose, and purpose needs a thought behind it. And so we give our gods human traits like personalities and creative thinking, in order to make sense of our lives. You come to believe that you are where you are supposed to be because it has been ordained on some higher level.

In this manner, I actually approve the creator-myth because it gives the truly devout a sense of purpose and serenity that I do, in fact, envy. They are quite comfortable believing that they will continue to exist on some level after death, completely ignorant of the obvious truth; that we are simple biological matter that is made to expire, not to mention the fact that everlasting life would almost certainly make for an excrutiating torment and make you irrevocably insane after the first two- or three-hundred years.

Also, there is the matter of logistics to consider; if people keep on living, where would they be? And would this apply to every single person that has lived since the dawn of time? And people who WILL be born? That would entail trillions upon trillions of people.. or, no.. the actual number would be immeasurable. Are they going to exist in the same place? Are they supposed to intermingle? And if there is an afterlife, then what is the purpose of the first life? Is it a waiting-room where you spend some time before moving on to the next place?

This is what makes life so important. In a way, the concept of an afterlife makes life itself pointless. What's the point of life if we simply continue on after death and can resolve any left-over issues beyond our alotted time here on earth? It is in the here and now that we should strive for happiness and contentment, we should not put stock in any belief that there will be more life after life. I mean sure, it would have been awesome to get closure with a lot of dead people that way, but being reassured that you will be reunited, having this safety-net... it's just such a human way of thinking which quite frankly is delusional and unrealistic.

I spoke to my ex about this and she got really upset, stating that she refused to believe that she would never see any of her passed-away loved ones ever again.

And that's exactly my point. The belief in an afterlife, as already stated, seems undeniably to be more of a defense-mechanism than anything else, we "need" to believe in it in order to keep up hope and go on living, to do anything else is too horrifying. And that unfortunately makes people blind to what truly matters, that we should make every choice in life count, for there will be no do-overs. At least not as the person you are right now.

ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE

"You live once this eternity. But there is nothing that says it is impossible for you to come into existence again."

- Kent

Contradiction? I don't think so. Let me explain.

The most supported theory of creation is that in the beginning, the Big Bang ocurred; the creation of all life as we know it. The universe supposedly began as a massive explosion resulting in a shockwave of existence that is, in fact, still ongoing. We are living inside this massive bubble of unfathomable dimensions, whilst the building-blocks of life are still expanding the borders of the material universe even now at uncalculable distances.

Likewise in the beginning, the universe favoured matter over anti- matter and thus gave rise to every possible form of matter in existence. And this is what it boils down to; everything, you, me, animals, the trees, the ground, air, plastics, the asteroids on the other side of the known universe... we are all made up of the same celestial matter.

Your personality, while certainly unique, is not with you at birth, when you are born you are a blank slate. Who you are is determined by your memories of past experiences which has shaped and moulded you because of choices you have made in life. So your personality is developed during your lifetime.

The only thing given to you at birth is sentience. But where did that come from? Well, it is bestowed on you by the incredible properties of your father's sperm joining with your mom's egg, a process that has evolved from the very beginnings of material creation.

And here comes the kicker. Scientists have theorized that at some point, the constantly expanding universe will reverse itself, forming what is being called the "Big Crunch". Everything will revert back to the base-property of matter, cascading back into one single atom in order to renew everything by once again cascading outward in another Big Bang.

And then the whole circus starts all over again... another "eternity", if you will. In this way, I choose to use the word "eternity" not as a concept for unlimited time, but the SEEMINGLY endless flow of linear time within the confines of existence as we experience it.

That is why, while I do not believe we will ever exist in the same form ever again (kind of like how a glass of water can never be filled with the exact same water molecules in the exact same fashion twice), it is quite possible that we will coalesce once again after an incomprehensible amount of time has passed into completely different beings during the "next eternity", i.e the next time around when another Big Bang has created a new universe.

Hell, it is even quite possible, not to mention probable, that this process has happened before and we have indeed already existed in previous eternity-cycles as other, completely different incarnations.

The time-scale of this is of course extraordinary. The time it takes for a universe to explode and implode again is beyond any reliable means of measure. And while the popular idea of reincarnation has the concept of your incorporeal soul somehow transferred into a new body during the same eternity-cycle, my theory supports a more scientific belief that we are recycled and might live again, but only once during every eternity and also, only once as the same individual. Your body does not revert to celestial matter immediately after death, it takes an incredible amount of time to reach that state where every particle is reformed and new life is possible.

We would also, quite naturally, be completely oblivious to this ongoing process of constant renewing cycles.

Firstly, to just imagine this is beyond the scope of the major population; most are content with just living their every-day lives not even wondering about the grand scale of creation.

Secondly, we would actually be incapable of remembering this as our lives are insignificantly short in comparison and our brains are physically unable to remember anything before the point in time of their creation, when their memory-storing capabilities came into being in the first place. You would not remember your previous life at all, you would not remember who you were before or any details. None of it. You would be a completely new being with a completely new personality, nothing of your old identity would remain.

It is the same thing with our planet. The earth is projected to exist for another 1.75 billion years, but on the universal scale, that amount of time is just as inconsequential as our individual lifespans. This earth will die one day and never again exist as it does now. Our sun will swallow it and beyond that, it will have played out its role.

However, as we are celestial matter which is recycled in the next Big Crunch, we might find ourselves called into existence once again the next time around as completely different lifeforms, either sentient or non-sentient, with completely different living conditions on a wildly alien planet.

Beyond any doubt is the fact that humanity will never exist again and that is taking into account all of its past, present and future evolved forms. As humanity goes extinct at some point (which it will, even if we manage to create massive stellar empires and rule the galaxy at some point, sooner or later, entropy consumes everything), the universe will use our matter and create new lifeforms the next eternity-cycle.

And THAT, my dear reader, is why it is vital that you enjoy every single moment that you have the unimaginable privilege of existing during. This earth, this sky, your life, your friends, your family... when death claims you all, you will never see them or experience their company again. So cherish their presence here and now.

Make sure they know how you feel about them.

Make sure you see what you need to see and do what you need to do before you die.

Make sure you enjoy the life you have been given to the fullest, for it will never come again; at least not in any way resembling the way or form of life that we know and find ourselves in today.

Engelskspråkig recension igen.

Jag tror bara jag ska sluta tillkännage det i fortsättningen, för jag gissar att det troligtvis alltid kommer förbli på engelska. ^^

*SPOILERALERT*

Here's a movie that will finally get a high score, because this movie is awesome. I actually watched this movie several months ago, but as described in the latest review, I am very bad at giving credit where credit is due; mainly because I suck at describing and elaborating on things which are positive. I'm better at complaining; I hate to admit it, but its true. ^^

However, here's finally an opportunity for me to practice on commending instead of just condemning, and I am going to try to do this movie justice by actually uploading a full review of this as an example of a movie that really gave me an awesome experience from start to finish.

PROS

Oh my god, what DIDN'T I like about this movie?

I love this movie for several reasons; one of them being that this is not just your average typical low-brow action flick. This movie has a deeper message that really shines through and presents a moral dilemma which I think even little kids are picking up on.

Who takes responsibility for the innocents that die on the sidelines in a superpowered battle?

Aren't the heroes causing more deaths simply by opposing the villains?

Why don't they ever mention the people who obviously die as collateral damage and why hasn't the government ever touched upon this?

These were questions that never really saw the light of day when I was growing up and watched superhero-movies; it was always so dichotomic, you had your heroes and your bad guys. Fight!

And let me tell you, this is the one thing that stands out the most in this movie: the split between the characters and the utterly ambiugious choice between the two.

The audience is encouraged to think for themselves and decide which of the two groups they want to root for and I think that is just brilliant! There is no clear line between good and evil here. The view of preserving your independence in order to do what you think is right is equally as valid as siding with the government in order to do what society thinks is right.

The rogues gallery in this movie is really impressive and gets you really excited, mainly because they consist of the heroes themselves; there really isnt any supervillains this time. The bad guy is just some normal guy who wants to do all of the Avengers in because he had been victimized by them.

At first it felt kind of like a let down, but after a while it just dawned on me that it was the perfect way of doing things here. This guy becomes a simple but determined manipulator which in turn by proxy make villains out of whichever side of Team Cap/Team Stark you DON'T side with. Ingenious!!

This movie really makes you think and honestly, is the first action-movie in a long time that also almost managed to move me to tears. The tragedy of having to go up against your friends; you can feel the wrongness of the situation, nobody wants to do this but they have to and it is tearing them apart.

And that's another thing that's executed perfectly; the drama.

The same way that the moral dilemma in Age of Ultron made me yawn because they seemed to constantly hammer in the obvious dangers of creating an A.I, this one gripped me by the balls and kept me wondering which hero would side with which side.

The actors in this movie really dish out their A-grade material and it shows. Because of the moral dilemma, character-development come by the boatload here. And I love how the two main characters suddenly swich sides on their own default opinions. Suddenly, the usually by-the-book Steve Rogers is in favor of staying away from the government after having seen the duplicitous nature of SHIELD in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, while the typically rebellious Tony Stark developes a conscience because of his actions in Age of Ultron and starts to favor accountability and a closer tie to the people by submitting to an elected administration. Its like they developed into two opposites from being the opposite opposites and I just find that both funny and clever. ^^

The action-scenes in this movie are sooooo good, you are litterally hanging on for dear life. And in many cases when it comes to action, movies tend to either go overboard or not enough, but not here.

In this movie, the balance is executed perfectly between dramatic downtime and adrenaline-pumping action. It gives you just enough to keep you entertained, but not so much that you get sick of it. Everytime the movie progressed into a new fight-scene, I was like "Yes! Good! Let's get it on!" and when it ended, it always seemed to end at just the right time and good action does that.

But the main fight... holy shit, nothing beats that. Nothing else in the movie even comes close.

Not that I know how or what to say other than the fact that it was an all-out pummeling-fest which left me completely exhausted, but in a good way, as if I had just orgasmed.

I truly loved it!!

And I think the reason that this fight is so epic is most likely because this wasn't a hero vs a villain or even a hero vs a hero.... this was a TEAM of heroes vs a TEAM of heroes. The controversy and awesomeness alike in such a concept reaches epic proportions. You get to see all of those characters that you have followed througout the previous connected movies duking it out and for all the true fans, that is just ecstasy beyond our dreams.

The only downside was that it WAS so short for all that it was; I had wanted to see more of the heroes going at it, but I realize that the entire movie can't be all about the Avengers beating the crap out of each other.

Oh yeah, Spider-man is in there!! :D

And I was pleasantly surprised too, because I was afraid that his puns and quick remarks might make him sort of childish and goofy, but they actually work pretty well. They're not even bad puns, they're good. ^^ I mean, when was the last time you experienced good puns in an action movie?

Another thing I was afraid of was that he might be underplayed as sort of a sidenote, but no.

I mean, he actually manages to hold his own against TWO opponents, damnit!

That's just how its supposed to be, because even though he might be young, Spider-man isn't some side-character that you can just brush away; he has his own franchise and must be respected and even though his appearance was relatively brief, they did good by him. Thank god.

The climax was both exhilarating and tragic. The scene where Tony finds out about his parents was so incredibly touching that I could experience every ounce of pain that he felt. It made me feel that Tony was completely justified in taking action against the titular protagonist Captain America; not just because of his standpoint regarding the accords, but also because of his sense of being betrayed. As Tony learned about who killed his parents and that Steve hadn't told him that he knew about it, you can really see his heart breaking.

It culminates in this epic three-way duel between cap, 'man and soldier in which they truly go all out, I mean they pull no punches here. You can tell that this fight is all about emotions going out of control and it just adds to the tragedy. Even the aftermath leaves things unresolved with the Avengers split, which opens up for new possibilites by not returning to the status quo. It is kept interesting even in the end.

CONS

Negatives?

Hmm, I don't know.

Bad characters? Not really. They all feel significant to the story as a whole.

Bad performances? Nah.. everyone performs at the very least to an acceptable standard; even the Martin Freeman-character, who managed to get away with his fake american accent. ^^

Where there plot holes? ... I don't really remember. Not that I can recall. And if there were, I was kept so entertained that I missed them completely.

............

Well, okay. Actually there was one thing which sort of is worth mentioning; a piece of vital information which went over the heads of most people.

When you find out that Captain America had known about Bucky murdering Stark's parents, many people including myself went "Wait, what? When did you learn that?"

Apparently, its supposed to be implied from some obscure newspaper article which Rogers sees back in Captain America: The Winter Soldier when he and Black Widow is in the underground bunker complex talking to Arnim Zola.

But I can't really fault Civil War for that as it is a problem that stems from a completely different movie entirely. And if I ever do a review of that movie, you can be sure I'm gonna bring that up.

Other than that, I have no real complaints at all. Though, I guess a minor nitpick I have is the fact that the duality and theme of "pick your side" of this movie is so omnipresent that I felt that it really should have been a full-fledged Avengers-movie and not presented under the banner of one single superhero, but as I said, thats just nitpicking.

CONCLUSION

So.. what about the final score?

Will it reach the ever-coveted five deathstars out of five possible?

It depends.

Is it absolutely perfect, the very Platoesque paragon of all movies ever made?

Well, no, of course not. But then again, what movie is? And I will say that for an Avengers- movie (yes, it should be "Avengers: Civil War", damnit!!), its pretty damn close to perfect.

So... for the first time ever... Captain America: Civil War will be the first movie ever to reach my highest grade.

I hereby award you FIVE deathstars out of five!

May you give rise to a new level of quality entertainment that is sustained in your successors.

Inatt hade jag nåt så fantastiskt som ett kaskaddrömmande, dvs jag drömde flera drömmar på raken som jag faktiskt kommer ihåg.

Alla människor drömmer flera drömmar under loppet av en natt, det är fullt normalt. Det som är ovanligt är dock att jag kommer ihåg nästan alla drömmarna den här gången, oftast minns man bara den sista drömmen man drömde.

Men t.o.m mindre vanligt än så är att i drömmen ha insikten om att man drömmer OCH att man faktiskt kan påverka sina drömmar.... inatt (eller ja, det var mer under dom sista två timmarna på morgonen innan jag steg upp) i dom två sista drömmarna.. så VISSTE jag att jag drömde, och kunde näst intill under ett sällsynt tillfälle hänge mig nånting som kallas för "lucid dreaming".

Jag tänkte här och nu skriva ner mina drömmar så att jag inte glömmer bort dom.

DRÖM 1

Första drömmen som jag kommer ihåg att jag drömde var mer eller mindre en mardröm och jag minns inte riktigt vad den handlade om. Minns enbart att det var nåt om nån skum liten docka och jag vaknade till av den ungefär halv nio på morgonen. Sen somnade jag om.

DRÖM 2

Dröm två hade o göra med att det var en grupp unga tjejer på kanske 13 - 14 år som försökte ta sig in i min lägenhet. Dom stod utanför min balkong och tittade in, var inne i porten och försökte titta in genom kikhålet osv. Jag insåg att min dörr var olåst så jag öppnade den och frågade vad dom ville, varpå dom fnissande sprang iväg. Jag fick aldrig reda på vad dom ville.

Här vaknade jag igen av att folk plötsligt börjar borra i tvättstugan under mitt golv (nåt som fortfarande håller på medan jag skriver detta). Klockan kan väl inte ha blivit mer än nio - halv tio.

DRÖM 3

Återigen drömmer jag om unga tjejer och denna var än mer angenäm. Jag ska på fest men ligger hemma i vardagsrummet (som ser helt annorlunda ut än mitt egentliga vardagsrum) under täcket på en soffa när nån brattig kille kommer förbi utanför fönstret med ett stort leende och sex boxar lådvin (hur han nu kunde hålla i dom alla samtidigt). Han verkar jätteuppåt och försöker signalera genom fönstret att jag ska med på fest.

Jag har dock helt tappat rösten och försöker teckna åt honom "SEN" och "SEN, KANSKE". Han försvinner och plötsligt sitter det två tjejer kring 19 - 23ish i mitt vardagsrum varav båda ser riktigt bra ut. Det ena är en onämnd skönhet och den andra ser exakt ut som Cathrine Holst i Scandal Beauties. Dom skulle möjligtvis också på festen (oklart) men dom väljer att spela kort med mig istället(?).

Tydligen känner jag dom båda då jag känner mig bekant och bekväm med dom (även fast jag inte har en aning om vilka det var såhär i vaket tillstånd efterhand), trots att det är en ganska stor osannolikhet att modelltjejer umgås med såna som mig (här infinner sig mitt klasstänkande) och jag får tydliga signaler av att en av dom är attraherad av mig. (Så att, aaah .. ni kan ju gissa att det här är en sån dröm man inte vill vakna upp ur)

Får syn på ett kollegieblock som ligger på bordet där nån har klottrat ner ett enda ord, om och om igen, ofta inringat och omgivet av hjärtan. Det är mitt namn.

Här rycks jag upp ur drömmandet av ett ihärdigt hammrande och jag svär högt för mig själv. Klockan börjar närma sig tio.

DRÖM 4 och DRÖM 5

Dom följande två drömmarna infaller båda under en dryg halvtimme tätt efter varandra, och det är nu som jag börjar ana att jag drömmer.

I första drömmen flyger jag fram över en havsstrand under en strålande sommarsol. Stranden är dock väldigt underlig, den består av en sammansatt plan av hexagonala rutor av olika storlekar och är uppbyggd som i en mosaik av olika skimmrande färger; gul, röd och blå syns mest. Samtidigt som det här sker hör jag en komplicerad och asball chiptune-låt. Här kommer min första insikt om att jag drömmer; jag inser att om jag ska höra låten hela tiden så kommer jag bli galen(?), men tycker också att det är jättehäftigt att min hjärna kan vara så kreativ. (!!!) Att jag erkänner att det är min hjärna som är så kreativ är ju en uppenbar signal om att jag fattar att jag drömmer. Sen såhär i skrivande stund så känner jag verkligen att jag skulle göra allt för att få höra den där låten igen för den var så fucking häftig och totalt unik, jag hade aldrig hört den förr. :D och JAG skapade den.

Jag var också så förundrad över det faktum att jag visste att det var påhittad musik i min egen hjärna, men samtidigt att jag faktiskt kunde HÖRA den lika tydligt som jag nu i skrivande stund kan höra det här förbannade borrandet underifrån. Det är inte ofta man minns det så starkt när man vaknar att man känner att man faktiskt på riktigt upplevde nåt så påtagligt.

Snabb övergång till nästa och sista dröm, vad klockan är har jag ingen aning om, men jag gissar att det bara är typ 10 - 15 minuter kvar tills jag slutligen går upp.

Jag befinner mig i en tom fabrik eller lagerlokal av nåt slag, men samtidigt hör jag musik. Ingen chiptune nu, utan en redig storbandsorkester, en såndär som finns på en opera med massa olika typer av stråkar och horn. Musiken dånar ut "Land of hope and Glory" och jag rycks med. På nåt sätt fasar jag in och ut mellan två områden, lite som när man klipper fram och tillbaka från ett ställe till ett annat i en musikvideo, för jag får små glimtar av att jag är i närvaron av storbandet samtidigt som jag går runt i den tomma lagerlokalen.

Jag börjar vifta med händerna och musiken börjar följa mina instruktioner. Eller, det är inte riktigt klart om dom följer mina viftande händer, men jag får känslan av att ett stycke faktiskt blev distinktivt kraftigare av att jag dirigerade inför ett tomt fabriksgolv och här infinner sig återigen tanken om att jag är "fascinerad över att jag faktiskt kan påverka den här underliga situationen". En tanke som talar om för mig nu att jag återigen måste ha insett att det var en dröm.

Minns exakt när jag vaknade för sista gången, det var precis innan det avslutande crescendot och... herregud.. det var precis som att dra ut strömsladden till en stereo som står och basunerar musik på högsta volym!! o.O Så tydlig var övergången från dröm till vaket tillstånd, jag verkligen hörde musiken. Jag "mindes" inte musiken, jag kunde inte "förnimma" musiken... JAG HÖRDE MUSIKEN. FOR REALS.

Nu måste jag äta frunch och lugna ner mig.. men ni kan ju gissa att jag kommer fundera över dessa drömmar under dagen.

Det är synd att man inte kan inse att man drömmer varje gång man sover, hade varit asballt att kunna styra sina drömmar. ^^

HAPPY DREAMING! :D